If I fail…..

Today April 23rd marks my 44th birthday…now I’m feeling very melancholy, so bear with me please.

Since my parents passed away, that date hasn’t been the same, yes I’ve celebrated with friends, I had a party on my 40th..but there were two, no three vital ingredients missing – my Mum & Dad *and my family*….I’m being totally selfish especially with what is going on in the world right now…..but I’m missing my parents like hell….when I left home I moved a few roads down ….not too far and not too near lol….close enough to pop in and popped in I did.

But it’s days like this that i want to be able to pop in and I need to hear their voices just one more time.

The hysterics we used to get up to from drunken antics with my Dad to boozy holidays with them both ….yes can you see a recurring theme? Lol

With this mademic going on I truly miss them both but my mum especially, towards the end of her life she was diagnosed with COPD and got puffed out doing the most menial of tasks…. so I used to go around after work three times a week and all day Saturday, I’d make her meals and clean for her, I am not complaining btw – *I worked till 5 walk 1.5 hours home pop around to mums cook/clean go home ….do it all again at home repeat sleep repeat….again I’m not complaining and would do it again in a heartbeat….

So fast forward to now, I so miss having my parents to rely on…not financially but for support/love etc their love was unconditional, just to give them a hug one more time.

Like the mother swan carrying her cygnets – serving as a temporary flotation device to help the little ones as they learn to swim….this is at times what I need – to have someone show me where I’ve gone wrong and to help me get back on track ….not to leave me floundering ….unable to swim…there’s not many people I have encountered that help me to float and recently the list has got less….but for the few I thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are my mummy swan. And this is what I miss.

So please if you see someone struggling, how about give them a hand and never belittle someone for failing.

Enough of the melancholy, I’m signing off for now & I am off to have a birthday cuppa tea…sending you all love and hugs …stay safe lovelies…

Originally posted 2020-04-23 14:45:17.

2 thoughts on “If I fail…..”

  1. Sparkle I can relate to this having already lost Mum, then Dad more recently. Sending big hugs and please don’t lose your sparkle. You’re doing great. Ag x

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